After a heated debate yesterday regarding child support I was inspired to blog on this topic. Some not all men feel that they are burdened by child support and that the woman may be benefiting more than the child. They see the mother of their child and she's got her hair did, nails did, everything did with the child lookin a hot ass mess. They ask why am I paying her car note, why am I paying for her to get her hair done, and I'm out here broke and busted...why why why?!?! Which I have to agree may be true in some cases. There are some men who might as well not even check their account balances because it is all going into the “system”. They are struggling financially due to child support deductions. Or at least that’s how they see it. And the women are using the money for everything BUT raising their kids. However it is not fair to generalize and say that women are “gold-diggers”, greedy, scamming, etc. because they go after child support, it’s just wrong. It is my opinion that there is no amount of money that can replace a parent being in a child’s life. Perhaps if men AND women would stop treating their children like their nothing more than a paycheck there wouldn’t be so many children falling to the wayside. Which is a totally different subject and we’re going to leave that one alone for right now. Anyway from a woman’s perspective who was raised solely by my mother who did not receive child support for about 90% of my life obviously I’m biased. But I have tried to look at his subject objectively and I’ve come to the conclusion that child support is the bare minimum that a parent can offer a child. Yes children need to be supported financially, but what is some money if their mental and emotional growth is not being cultivated by that absent parent? NOTHING! Now there are some instances where the absent parent is physically in the child’s life on what is considered a regular basis and that’s when the child support debate gets even messy. My question is what is a regular basis? Once, twice, three times a week? Everyday. Really how can that be determined?
To the men I say stop complaining about child support because the fact is that children are expensive. If you want to break down the comparison of who’s loosing what when there’s a broken home. Hmm the woman more times out of ten has lost a number of invaluable parts of her life: her “sexy” body, almost all of her time, energy, money, I mean the list goes on. I mean there is no amount of money you can give your “baby-mama” for being the 24/7 caregiver of your child. And if you’re worried that the woman isn’t using the money the way you would like for her to then you should’ve thought about what type of woman she was before you went off making babies with her. To the ladies all I have to say is don’t make it more difficult than it has to be and try to be as cohesive as possible with the child’s father for the sake of the child. Now I need that ladies and gents to speak up on this one!
3 comments:
You have a great point when it comes to woman not all being the same and parenting being an expensive obligation to take on. I feel that the amount of invaluable parts a woman might lose are on the high end, however, the choice of having the child is a partial choice on the woman part as well. With all of these things taken into consideration, along with the larger factors of financial/moral support, the option of not taking on the parental responsibilities are discussed between both partners and the woman can stop all of her invaluable parts of life from being affected.
This is a very good point that needs to be talked out. The reality is that kids need both parents/families to play a big part in their upbringing. Child support is supposed to fill the financial gap that a single mother or father needs to raise a child. The problem I have with it is that (mostly) men are getting their pockets raped. Now if you are a dead beat and/or hardly in the child's life than you should be getting those pockets touched, but the supportive Fathers are just stuck in the system with a minute chance of getting out. I was raised by both parents so I fully understand the importance of both parents actually being parents. 18 years is a long time, but that time is invaluable and hardly translates to cash. Raising kids is not a game but if you do it right the system will hunt you down like a bounty hunter.
Both of you have some valid points. To Dino I say there's just some things that can't be avoided when having children. Women get stretch marks in most cases men don't, just an example. And Jerry come one raped? Such an exaggeration.
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