Child Support Debate...Who's Really Benefiting?

After a heated debate yesterday regarding child support I was inspired to blog on this topic. Some not all men feel that they are burdened by child support and that the woman may be benefiting more than the child. They see the mother of their child and she's got her hair did, nails did, everything did with the child lookin a hot ass mess. They ask why am I paying her car note, why am I paying for her to get her hair done, and I'm out here broke and busted...why why why?!?! Which I have to agree may be true in some cases. There are some men who might as well not even check their account balances because it is all going into the “system”.  They are struggling financially due to child support deductions. Or at least that’s how they see it. And the women are using the money for everything BUT raising their kids. However it is not fair to generalize and say that women are “gold-diggers”, greedy, scamming, etc. because they go after child support, it’s just wrong. It is my opinion that there is no amount of money that can replace a parent being in a child’s life. Perhaps if men AND women would stop treating their children like their nothing more than a paycheck there wouldn’t be so many children falling to the wayside. Which is a totally different subject and we’re going to leave that one alone for right now.  Anyway from a woman’s perspective who was raised solely by my mother who did not receive child support for about 90% of my life obviously I’m biased. But I have tried to look at his subject objectively and I’ve come to the conclusion that child support is the bare minimum that a parent can offer a child. Yes children need to be supported financially, but what is some money if their mental and emotional growth is not being cultivated by that absent parent? NOTHING! Now there are some instances where the absent parent is physically in the child’s life on what is considered a regular basis and that’s when the child support debate gets even messy. My question is what is a regular basis? Once, twice, three times a week? Everyday. Really how can that be determined?

To the men I say stop complaining about child support because the fact is that children are expensive. If you want to break down the comparison of who’s loosing what when there’s a broken home. Hmm the woman more times out of ten has lost a number of invaluable parts of her life: her “sexy” body, almost all of her time, energy, money, I mean the list goes on. I mean there is no amount of money you can give your “baby-mama” for being the 24/7 caregiver of your child. And if you’re worried that the woman isn’t using the money the way you would like for her to then you should’ve thought about what type of woman she was before you went off making babies with her. To the ladies all I have to say is don’t make it more difficult than it has to be and try to be as cohesive as possible with the child’s father for the sake of the child.  Now I need that ladies and gents to speak up on this one!

Sagging Pants...Badge of Delinquency or Racial Profiling???

A while back I did a blog on the ridiculousness of men sagging their pants. A few days later Deshon Marman, a 20 year old defensive player for the University of New Mexico was arrested and removed from a flight for saggy pants. I totally don't agree with sagging pants I actually hate when I see young men walking around with their pants on the ground. However, this is America or at least it's supposed to be and in my opinion people should have the "freedom" to dress how they want. Now there are some restaurants and night clubs that enforce dress codes and will deny someone entry if they are not properly dressed.Usually baggy pants, white tees, ball caps, and all other sorts of urban attire are on the no-no list. But to remove someone from their flight that they paid good money for AND arrest them is a bit extreme. 

Some states have taken it to another level, in Louisiana, an there has been a push by lawmakers to determine whether or not pants worn low enough to expose underwear poses a threat to the public, and they have enacted indecency ordinances to stop it. Since June 11 2007 sagging pants have been against the law in Delcambre, Louisiana a town with a population of 2,231 that sits 80 miles southwest of Baton Rouge. Making the decision to wear sagging pants can carry a fine up to $500 or up to a six-month sentence. Mayor Carol Broussard was quoted saying “We used to wear long hair, but I don’t think our trends were ever as bad as sagging,”.  Is this really a fair comparison?

Check out this New York Times Online article: The Legislative Battle on Saggy Pants

  

As a person who believes in equality I have to ask the airlines would they remove someone who had a foul odor, too long hair, Gothic clothing or anything else that may "pose a threat" to the public? And in the case of Deshon Marman is this another case of racially profiling? Or is the NAACP pulling the race card unnecessarily?

Father's Day Edition

Happy Father’s day to all the wonderful fathers out there who are handling their business with their children and holding down the home front. To those men who have children and aren’t necessarily being the best father I say take this Father’s day to mark the beginning of your newfound fatherhood. Remember it’s always better late than never. Stand up, be a man, and take care of your children. Now ladies if the father of your children is trying to have a positive influence in the child’s life you have to step back and allow him to do so. And always remember that fathering your child doesn’t always equal him being your boyfriend/husband/lover, etc. 

It is what it is so stop being selfish and only worrying about your romantic relationship with him if it interferes with the relationship he has with the child. Another point I’d like to make is that present fathers not be taken for granted or treated as “Disposable Dads” as one of my father figures says. If you’re dad didn’t run out on you be grateful because that’s more than a lot of people can say nowadays.  On another note shout out to all the moms who have to act as mommy and daddy. To you I say happy Father’s day as well. 

Male Ass Cheeks...Pull Ya Damn Pants Up!

Since I did a blog of females abusing leggings and displaying their ass cheeks I think it’s only fair to address the fellas. Now saggin which spells niggas backwards used to be a black thing, but it has become more widespread and is often done among whites and Hispanics regardless of their social class but whoever is doing this it is ridiculous. This trend of sagging has been around for some time now and at one point in my life I didn’t see what the big deal was. But at 24 years old I have a major problem with this, I’m not sure if I’m just getting older (maturing) or if I was blinded by how “cool” it was for guys to sag. Now this issue of sagging has been addressed on several other occasions with billboards, PSA’s, and other media outlets. 

 Yet boys imitating men continue to sag below their ass cheeks. Now I realize that sagging may be more comfortable than wearing jeans up their ass and smashing their huge private parts because every dude is blessed in the middle right? LMAO! I just don’t understand if you know where sagging originated why would you do it? If you don’t know let me fill you in, it originated in the pen (jail system) as a way to advertise sex to the other male inmates. So to then do this in the outside world makes no sense to me unless you’re advertising to other males. Which is cool if that’s what you’re going for cuz I’m not judging. Now I’m not sure what other females think but I’m not turned on when I see some too big boxers spilling out of some too big jeans. It just doesn’t do the trick for me. So I have to ask…is wandering around showing off ass cheeks worth the “gangsta/cool” look? I mean there’s nothing cute about showing off your ass cheeks male or female. It’s kinda nasty if you think about it. The ass functions as a shit dropper. Do you really want to show the world your shit dropper? Especially as a guy? But don’t be in the club pretending to be a homophobe, Big Meech, Larry Hoover and every other gangsta legend when you’re ass is all out like a little byotch. Check out the OG's take on saggin'. Bet cha won't sag no more!

Student Athletes...Underpaid or Overrated?

With the resignation of Thee Ohio State University’s Jim Tressel the conversation concerning paying student-athletes has been re-ignited. Whether you are for or against athletes being paid there are valid points to both sides of the argument. Some believe that the athletes attract the spectators and ultimately bring in money to the universities and therefore should be compensated. Others argue that they should remain unpaid student-athletes because they are not professionals and are rewarded with scholarships.

 For the athletes I feel their pain. One argument is that the athletes have families who are back at home struggling financially so they need the extra money. Think about it they are directly responsible for the sports related revenue received by the universities, yet they receive no monetary rewards. So it’s almost like working for free. They show up and put countless hours into practice and training so that they can contribute to their team’s success which creates and sustains their fan base. The universities fan base is undoubtedly influenced by the performance of these un-paid athletes. And for the university having a strong fan base translates into real dollars…a whole heck of a lot of them. I mean those of us who work 9-5 aren’t expected to show up to work and be all that we can be for no pay. Imagine getting a job and working in a department that makes millions in revenue off of your work, but they only offer you benefits and no salary. Let’s say they tell you where you can live give you a living allowance, some healthcare, and pay for daycare. Would this be acceptable?

Now there are also those who have justifiably disputed every argument mentioned above and some. One of the main arguments is that if you pay those who participate in the more popular sports such as football and basketball then it’s only fair that those who participate in tennis, swimming, and all the other less popular sports which don’t generate as much money be paid as well. Another opposing point is that the athletes often times are receiving scholarships which may cover some or all of their entire cost of tuition, room and board. This keeps their student loans lower than those students who aren't athletes so they are benefiting financially in the long run as well. So it’s not fair that they get additional money. Another way to look at it is that they are receiving an education which is invaluable in exchange for what some like to call “dribbling a ball”.

I think the argument that a lot of these students families are back home struggling is a good reason to pay the athletes is the weakest one I’ve heard. Athletes are not the only students who come from economically disadvantaged backgrounds. There are several students who have academic scholarships who still struggle to make ends meet both at school and in their family life. But the universities don't give them extra money. It’s my opinion that if they do decide to compensate the popular sports it is only fair that they pay the other student-athletes as well. However the pay should not be equal for all student athletes, instead it should be dependent on how much money that particular sport brings into the schools. Now this can get tricky because not all athletes are created equal so how can a fair amount be offered to students on an individual basis. It’s difficult to determine what percent of the total revenue each athlete is responsible for. It’s not fair that the benchwarmers get the same pay as the starters. It’s a thought…I think it’s just way to tricky a deal to try to work out. Another issue I have with this whole debate is that once again in America we pay more attention to our athletes than we do to our scholars. Now don’t get me wrong I think they both have their place in society. Although the sciences may not bring in as much money as sports the impact that science can have is much more significant. But we’re not discussing whether or not student who conducted valuable research for free should be compensated. My point is that this is a debate that may never be settled because both sides present a valid case. Please share your thoughts on this topic thanks. 

Ugly Black Women: An Endless Game of Dodge-ball

When I initially heard the news of the “scientific proof” that black women were physically less attractive than other races I was baffled and considered doing a blog on such a controversial topic. Then I stopped myself and asked what could come from doing a blog on this topic. Since I am a black woman I took the article personal and was a bit upset that someone would even try to prove something so ridiculous with science. Not only is this an excellent demonstration of the abuse of “science” but just outright racist.  I didn’t want to dedicate my energy to something that I took so personally because I knew I would not be able to write a blog in an unbiased manner. However per my cousin Michelle’s request and my best friend Caryn’s seconding it I’ve decided to write about this. Obviously I have few issues with the declaration that black women are less attractive than other races. My first issue is that in 2011 someone would waste their time trying to prove something that can’t be proven. Like grandma always says “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Yes there are other’s who have tried to find some scientific formula for beauty, i.e. the symmetry theory, but based on race? Absolutely ludicrous. My other issue with this article is that it is just another attempt to oppress and already oppressed people. As if black women aren’t demeaned enough within our own community. I think the author of such nonsense is 100% dead wrong, I mean it’s almost laughable how stupid he made himself look in front of the world. My third issue is the reaction that I’ve seen to this article thus far.

 I like to think of these types attacks like am endless game of dodge ball. The low blows will never stop coming…EVER! And life is too short to entertain every shot that is taken at the “black woman”. You have to keep dodging them and let them roll off your back. Some things are so ridiculous they’re not even worth addressing. We have to keep it pushing and hold our heads high like we’ve been doing. And always remember “Can’t nobody take our pride, and can’t nobody hold us down…oh no we got to keep on moving” (In my Mase Voice). Please share your thoughts on this issue ladies. 

Memorial Day Weekend

I meant to post this blog several days ago, but better late than never right? Memorial day weekend is here and we can finnaly wear white without violating fashion principles! It’s time to eat, good, party and sleep in on Monday for the first time since presidents day, New Years, or Christmas depending on where you work. Memorial day is one of my favorite holidays because it marks the end of winter (officially) and the beginning of summer. I mean spring doesn’t really count for anything if you live in the Midwest we kinda jump from winter to summer. And who doesn’t love the summer? Only a crazy person! It’s grilling season officially and who can’t get enough of grilling? A crazy person. Lol. Anyway I’m too excited about my weekend and I’m sure I’m not the only one. Aside from the festivities we all need to take a moment to remember those who have left us behind. With that being said there needs to be no shenanigans this weekend so that we’re not the one’s being remembered next memorial day.

There are several events going on this weekend so no one should find themselves bored sitting in the house this weekend. 

I wish everyone a spectacular Memorial Day weekend and remember to eat good, party hard, and sleep late.